Pixie in Paradise

 “You are only free when you realize you belong no place – you belong every place – no place at all. The price is high. The reward is great.”

Maya Angelou

I did not wish upon a star last week, I wished upon the full moon and a tree of monkeys. A few days ago I was in the right place at the right time, which seems to happen a lot – with the exception of the beach flasher on Thursday. Deciding to walk the beach in the late afternoon two days before the full moon I headed north, my usual route. I saw a couple of women and a child staring up at the trees and asked my usual, “Es un perezoso?” They said no sloth, but “unos congos,” howler monkeys (aulladores monos). They watched for a few more seconds then walked away. I could not move from that spot for what felt like forever. With my back facing the beach and the incredibly loud waves I stood transfixed watching this troop of howlers above me. There were even a couple of babies that would follow the adults up and down the branches. It was magical and then got even better when they started their trademark chant, that deep, guttural, powerful roar. I listened and watched, and watched and wished that I would be able to hear live howler monkeys every single day, like I have for the last three months. I wished for that on the 23rd of January. 

Already receiving every single immediate wish I had between Christmas and my birthday (January 14th), I honestly don’t even think I should make more wishes. I’m already insanely blessed. Granted, two of my wishes were just that Mo was healthy, safe and would show up for Christmas Day and my birthday – which he did – so maybe Costa Rican cat wishes are just bonuses. My wish to stay in Costa Rica longer than my January 16th return home date came true. Now that was really something. For that one to have actually happened was not coincidence – I don’t believe in coincidence – that was divine intervention. 

Just like the first opportunity allowing me to stay in Costa Rica, another one came up, even more organic and unexpected than the first. This one was quite possibly as good as the first – with the exception that Mo and I would be living on separate properties, ten minutes from each other. In the grand scheme of things, a small price to pay to stay in my favorite region, and I’m quite sure as long as we stay near the same beach, that cat and I can find each other. Witches have familiars, and I have Mo. 

I also have Pesto, back in the US. Pesto is the three-legged wonder cat that I have shared my house with for the better part of ten years. The main reason I have to return to the US or alter my travel plans in a way I may not want to is for him. He’s mostly worth it: Pesto is as wonderful as Mo, but in different ways. They’re very different creatures but one thing is for certain: they would kill each other if in the same house. Therefore, Mo has a home here in Central America, and Pesto will continue to live out his days stress free in North America.

All cats aside, I meditated and manifested during the full moon, two days after wishing on the monkeys. It was a powerful week! I sent out intentions at that time for guidance in ways to keep me in Costa Rica near the ocean. I asked for abundance, enough to comfortably support all my needs and responsibilities. I mean, I do need more money than it takes to just feed two cats and a small, but very hungry human!

But the most important lesson I’ve learned lately is that there has to be flow, a natural flow to things. I obviously knew this concept way before now, but definitely wasn’t utilizing it to the fullest. When I say it’s the most important lesson I’ve “learned lately,” I’m actually trying to implement it more in my life, other than just by articulating it in a funny meme on social media. What I’ve come to accept truly, is what is meant for you will inevitably come to fruition. The rest will or won’t teach us a lesson, fun or otherwise: think Edgar Allen Poe’s, The Monkey’s Paw. Because of trying to flow more in all things in my life, I’m applying it to all the nouns: persons, places and things. I will not fight to keep someone or something in my life that is not aligned with my highest good: you want out, there’s the door. If I’m not meant to stay in Central America for the rest of my life on this one trip, then I return to my home in the US, regroup and manifest another plan, something even more magical and aligned. For me this means continuing to remain peaceful and happy while I work on writing projects and figuring out how to jump on the next plane for a travel adventure.

Traveling isn’t just about the place: it has to do with the people, the culture, la energía – the energy – and vibes. Compared to many people I’ve been to a lot of places; compared to others, I’ve barely scratched the surface of the globe. I have traveled to enough cities and countries to get a general feel for the different rhythms of each place. Some places more memorable than others. I really love the energy and spirit of the tiny island in Fiji that I visited ten years ago. I like the general rhythm of the parts of Mexico and Belize I’ve been to. I love the parts of Costa Rica and Panama that I’ve been to, specifically here in Costa Rica. I’m blindingly in love with the land and haven’t learned near enough yet about it. I stay in a very small little area and have only ventured out a few times to see other regions, but I love them too.

There have been places I’ve visited, whether it was just a vacation or a necessary trip, where I found myself really wishing I could live there. I was required to return home at the time, out of some obligation or another. None of the places were necessarily like each other – though most have involved warm weather near the ocean – but something felt the same. It was a trip, with a beginning, a middle and an end. My Central American adventure had a sort of “choose your own adventure” conclusion, which is why when someone asked how long I would stay, my answer was, “five months or fifty years.” I really didn’t know, I really don’t know. I also did not know I would leave Belize and visit Costa Rica, let alone move here. It has been the best opportunity of my life. 

This time in Costa Rica has brought about so many amazing opportunities and just like all of these travels, the time here has brought so many interactions with unique and interesting people, local and beyond. I meet a lot of people who come here every year and stay for a month or two while it’s cold in their own country, or state back in the US. When I ask them why southern Costa Rica, answers vary, but many say there’s a magnetic pull back to this place. Some of them are even lucky to own homes here so that they can return whenever they’re able. Most of us rent, though, and there are so many sweet little places to live relatively cheap, depending on the amenities you’re looking for. Our area is a bit pricier here, because there’s a large tourist population year round.

For me, the magnetic pull here is stronger than anything I’ve ever felt before and it goes much further than that. I feel the land, the plants, even the animals speaking to me, asking me to stay as much as I am asking to stay. I don’t think this happens very often, a point in life where not only you want to be in a certain place, but that place wants you to stay too. We can’t predict human nature or nature at all, for that matter, but I’ve heard from a few people that others have come down here with big dreams and even bigger bags of money, but this land just spits them right out. I am not speaking in terms of safety or decisions we as humans make but I can feel the land granting me safe passage, no ill intentions. I am including the ground bee that stung the very bottom of my foot yesterday as I was walking the beach. I had no idea he was there and I had no idea I was stepping on his head until he shoved that stinger into the arch of my foot. I apologized to him then promptly pulled out the stinger while the pain set in. Poor guy, I don’t blame him, I’d sting someone too if they were stepping on my head.

I wholly believe in the quote by Maya Angelou, that we aren’t free until we accept that we belong everywhere and nowhere. However, I carry that thought further in my own mind and firmly believe we are all made up of the fabric of where we’ve come from and where we’ve gone. Each place gets into your fabric and pretty soon you are no longer made of just where you were born or grew up, you belong everywhere you’ve been and all the places you want to go. Our individual fabric is made of the places of our ancestors: I am American, but Lebanese, German, English, Irish, Dutch and French by nationalities of my bloodline. I’m also Canadian, Mexican, Spanish, Fijian, Belizean, Panamanian and Costa Rican, which encompasses the places I’ve traveled. The top three countries I’ve spent time and lived in are, the United States of America, Costa Rica and Belize, in that order. The fabric I am made of is strongly made of North and Central America, and I feel that deeply. I have an attachment to the land I am on right now but I’m completely open to discovering so many more places. I just know that I am not done here yet. I feel it.